THE GUIDE TO
GETTING IT ON! :
AND MOST INFORMATIVE BOOK ABOUT SEX
Independent publishers do the durnedest things, like calling their house Goofy
Foot Press and expecting people to take the place seriously.
But what can you do, says psychoanalyst-turned-publisher Paul Joannides: if you think
that existing sex-education books are so boring they put people to sleep instead
of that other thing they might do in bed, why not write a humorous sex book that
takes clinical terms out of sex and puts the oomph back in for all to share?
The question plagued Joannides until the mid-'90s, when he decided to write a book
that would use the colorful slang of sex ("OK, so here we have Dick, more functional
than a Sidewinder Missile . . . "), tell women things they might not know about
men ("you wouldn't believe how often the human male experiences a jolt of pain
in his testicles") and men about women ("if wanting orgasms were the sole
reason for doing a particular sex act, not many women would bother with intercourse").
Joannides drew from hundreds of resources and questionnaires, used explicit yet playful
illustrations by Daerick Gross and brought a chatty and conversational tone ("[after
childbirth] it might take the vagina a couple of weeks to heal after it's been stretched
from here to China") to a topic about which he feels no subject is taboo.
The result is The Guide to Getting It On!: America's Coolest & Most Informative
Book About Sex (670 pages; $19.95 paperback; distributed by Publishers Group
West), one of the funniest yet erudite how-to books about sex ever to hit general
bookstores÷or sex-ed classes (it's required reading in 25 colleges), or offices of
clinical psychologists and psychotherapists (hundreds use it).
You've probably guessed that during the two years Joannides submitted the book to
"all of the major American publishers," he got no takers. The few editors
interested asked him to "soften the tone" or take the fun out of it because
"our people in marketing have no idea how they can sell it. Is it sex÷is it
So Joannides took the name Goofy Foot (a surfing name), published the first edition
of the book in 1994 and has since sold about 75,000 copies. Sales have begun to plateau
even as he plans the third edition. In large part he owes the sale so far to a mock-serious
cover reminiscent of a Lichtenstein painting in which two cartoon faces are kissing
romantically and a half-nude couple is facing each other with more than gardening
on their minds.
However, the unorthodox cover seems to scare off the conventional press. Not one
review of the book has appeared, Joannides says, and many top-rated print and broadcast
media have canceled features for fear of offending readers and viewers. Nevertheless,
independent booksellers have sold the book steadily, especially around college campuses,
and special sales have been brisk.
I wanted to write about The Guide to Getting It On! because the discovery
of any well-made nonfiction book, especially one that's written with such conviction
and authority and that fulfills its intention perfectly, is always a thrill, whether
it's about retaining walls or flower arranging or in this case, sex. The fact that
it comes out of left field and takes a different approach than usual, one wants to
think, shouldn't stop it from reaching an audience that will value it.
Yet the pratfalls are many for independent publishers of books like this one.
For example, Joannides says, a regional chain was selling the book quite well, simply
by leaving it on the New Releases table, until the chain itself was sold to a new
owner. Then Joannides was informed he would have to pay for "product placement"
on the same table. When he couldn't afford to pay up front, the book was moved, sales
fell and inventory was returned.
from HOLT UNCENSORED #79, 7/27/99
Holt Uncensored is an online column about books and the book industry distributed
free twice weekly to subscribers' email. Sponsored by the Northern California Independent
Booksellers Association, it can be found at http://www.nciba.com/
and Pat Holt at firstname.lastname@example.org
Copyright 1999 Moxie Magazine All Rights Reserved